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Visit with care
Cemeteries are places of mourning, history and wildlife all at once. Here is how to visit respectfully, why most gravestones are better left uncleaned, and where you can help look after them.
Before you go
A few habits that keep these places peaceful for the people who come to grieve, and intact for everyone who comes after you.
01
If a funeral or graveside visit is under way, keep your distance, lower your voice and save the photos for later.
02
Old ground can hide sunken graves and fallen kerbstones. Paths protect the graves, and they protect you.
03
Never sit on, climb or lean against a monument. Old stones can look solid and still be hollow or unstable.
04
Opening hours, tickets, photography and dog rules vary from place to place, and some cemeteries close for funerals or bad weather.
05
Keep mourners out of frame and follow any requests at individual graves. At Highgate, for example, visitors are asked not to stand on or in front of George Michael’s grave for photos.
06
Flowers and small tokens are a tradition in many places, but some cemeteries ask for none at all. Never take anything away.
07
Wax rubbings press on fragile surfaces and are banned in many cemeteries. A photo taken in low, side-on light shows worn lettering without touching the stone.
08
Take litter home and leave plants and wildlife undisturbed. The lichens on old stones can be rare or protected species.
A resting coyote at Forest Lawn. A young fox at Highgate. A cat among the memorials. Quiet visitors see more. Give wildlife space and enjoy the moment without disturbing it.
Gravestone care
Cleaning videos are popular online, but conservation experts warn they can do lasting harm. Every cleaning removes a little of the original stone, and damage such as flaking, crumbling or staining can appear months later. Historic England advises that many memorials should not be cleaned at all unless an experienced conservator does the work.
Always get permission first. A headstone belongs to the family or heirs, and cemeteries and churchyards have their own rules. Some churchyards require formal permission before any cleaning takes place.
If the stone is flaking, powdery, cracked or leaning, stop there and contact a conservator.
If cleaning is approved
Never use
Guidance from the US National Park Service and the Diocese of Oxford.
Restoration
Re-setting a fallen stone, mending cracks or re-cutting worn lettering takes specialist skill and the right materials. Well-meant repairs with the wrong mortar or filler can speed up decay.
United Kingdom
A directory of accredited conservators. Filter by the Stone specialism.
Find a conservator →
United States
Search professional members by specialty, including Architecture and Stone.
Find a conservator →
Spotted damage? Tell the cemetery office, the parish or the local Friends group rather than fixing it yourself. If it’s a war grave, report it to the Commonwealth War Graves Commission.
Volunteer
Most historic cemeteries are kept alive by volunteers. Here are a few places to start, including the cemeteries in our guides.
London, England
Train as a tour guide, welcome visitors as a visitor assistant, or join the gardening volunteers clearing paths and monuments. Run by the Friends of Highgate Cemetery Trust.
Volunteer at Highgate →
Edinburgh, Scotland
Welcomers greet visitors to the Kirk beside the kirkyard and share Edinburgh’s stories. A good fit if you love history and talking to people.
Become a welcomer →
Across the UK
The umbrella network for local Friends groups that care for cemeteries and churchyards. A good way to find a group near you.
Find a Friends group →
Across the UK
The Commonwealth War Graves Commission trains volunteers to inspect, tidy and clean war grave headstones at sites across the UK.
See open roles →
Worldwide
Photograph headstones in your local cemeteries for families and researchers who can’t visit in person. You choose which cemeteries you cover, and volunteers never charge for photos.
How it works →
Near you
Many cemeteries and parishes run working parties, open days and history walks. Ask at the office or the parish, or look for a notice by the gate.
Keep exploring
Put it into practice with one of our first-hand cemetery guides, or get new guides by email.